In our society, it is not considered appropriate that girls should fix a car and boys should learn to cook. These concepts have been built by our own society over several years. As a result, as the saying goes, “we reap what we sow”, it seems we have built a huge wall around us from where we cannot see things clearly.

As the cycle continues, the mental and social gap between a man and a woman keeps on increasing. Moreover, there is no one to blame but ourselves, the entire society, for the resulting mental sickness and illiteracy.

This society categorizes the work between a man and a women and forces them to live their lives according to these rules or otherwise pack their bags and find some other place where they can live according to their own will.
Perhaps the only remedy is for parents to “teach girls to fix a car and boys to cook”. However, it is easy to write but its difficult to implement that parent should perform this duty. It is a duty that could be helpful for the coming generation.

In cities like Islamabad, Karachi and Lahore, it is impossible to fulfill the needs of a family alone, as because of the fast growth in each field and expensive living. To cope up with that it requires both male and female of the family to go out and earn the living. What creates problem is the differentiation; between both male and female .As in our society women still face great discrimination not only in business world but also in every walk of life.

We are being left behind in this world as a society as we are ignoring half of our countries population that is women. We still cry when a daughter is born in a house and gloat over a son’s birth. If we want to get parallel with the rest of the world, we will have to sit back and reflect on such issues at a very individual and personal scale to bring about the change we desperately need. Our parents can contribute in solving this problem but they are mostly stuck in a generation gap and fear of society “Looge kia kahain gay” .Everyone points a finger to the society not withstanding the fact that we make the society, every single one of us.

But again I got too much into higher philosophy:) lets just consider a girl driving a car in an unknown area and her car breaks down in the middle of the road and she does not have the faintest idea about its functioning. Obviously, it will create an enormous problem for her. Exactly the same thing happens if a boy is living alone, due to some reasons or other, and there is no one to cook food for him. He will eat outside, lose his health as well as waste all his money but he will never learn to cook because he has been taught, “this is for girls only”.

This life and we are like two persons. If we give some respect to life then only it can allow us to take advantage of it. It is a game of give and take. However, we do not look at it this way. We waste our whole life in categorizing our duties between a man and a woman and do not try to understand the purpose why we are sent on this earth. Life is not about differentiating things, it is about learning the tools to cooperate for a better more beautiful and an every progressing life. Stale water only bread mosquitoes and malaria.

19 Comments so far

  1. redsnapper (unregistered) on October 9th, 2006 @ 8:50 am

    Ouch !!

    Please turn the caps off when typing the title.

  2. Sa'ad (unregistered) on October 9th, 2006 @ 11:36 am

    You write good.
    I have explored these thoughts myself. On the contrary i enjoy cooking and think it is one of the easiest and simplest duties. I do see how parents designate roles to their offsprings based on gender and for a long time i was shielded from doing these duties but now that i am on my own i enjoy doing it myself. I think they only try to do what the collective society wants them to. Overtime this may change and society’s expectations change. Frankly i think some of the expectations of OUR society are worth taking a crap over when they turn out to be glorified primitive norms.

    Personally, i wouldn’t mind taking cooking duties if ‘she’ doesn’t mind working to earn a living. NOT as a swap of duties, but a sharing.

  3. Relavent? (unregistered) on October 9th, 2006 @ 12:25 pm

    And what does this have to do with Islamabad? :/

  4. Yahya (unregistered) on October 9th, 2006 @ 7:59 pm

    I think parent’s should teach girls to fix a car *and* to cook. :)

    As for boys…lets lay back on the couch and watch the match on tele.

  5. hassaan (unregistered) on October 9th, 2006 @ 10:42 pm

    a very different view i must agree. but i guess our religion is to blame about discrimination between the sexes. would’nt you agree ?

  6. Original-Anon (unregistered) on October 10th, 2006 @ 12:49 am

    Your posts have gone from being amusing to downright irritating. Most of these are personal rants and have nothing to do with Islamabad. But, if you must vent here, then I’d suggest you have someone read them and at least correct the language somewhat before you unleash these irrelevant posts on us.

  7. ghalia (unregistered) on October 10th, 2006 @ 2:37 am

    thanks SA’AD, YAHYA and ORIGINAL-ANON for writing on this issue.

    sa’ad: you love cooking but will you teach your son how to cook from the start? and it is not all about cooking and mending a car there are whole lot of other things which both the genders have to face.

    yahya: u have a good sense of humor keeping that aside don’t u face problems in society? and you should not sit back and relax as you yourself have lots of responsibilities. just try to teach people about being responsible and letting others to move ahead.

    original-anon: it is we who have misconceptions about our religion. islam never says that man is more respectful than women. the iyaat which we misinterpret is that man is physically strong than a woman not more respectful .just go through that iyaat and take a dictionary of arabic to urdu. u will find that one word in arabic has many meanings.

    what do u all think? please correct me if i’m wrong anywhere:)

  8. ghalia (unregistered) on October 10th, 2006 @ 2:43 am

    the last PARAGRAPH was for HASSAAN not anon. sorry that i make mistakes in writing names. hope you donot mind.anyways sorry HASSAAN

  9. Asma (unregistered) on October 10th, 2006 @ 12:19 pm

    Well I totally agree … girls are girls so what … atleast basics should be taught or you can learn yourself … its at the end goood for you …!

  10. hassaan (unregistered) on October 10th, 2006 @ 11:40 pm

    what i wanted to say was that islam has given the sexes their own respectives jobes, ie woman should do the work in homes ( to cook that is ) and men, to do the outer-world job ( to fix cars and such :) maybe i dint make myself clear the first time.

    would you still disagree with my point of view ?

  11. ghalia (unregistered) on October 11th, 2006 @ 2:35 am

    i am not disgree u have ur own way of looking at things and i respect that but u should see that when islam came hazrat khadija was a business woman and after entering into islam she continued her work.

    and even if women were assigned the household work they also fought in wars too. so what i want to say is that we should not stop a male or a female from doing anything which is positive in his/her growth in life. in this modern world we cannot live like the way our ancestors lived.


  12. hassaan (unregistered) on October 11th, 2006 @ 3:39 pm

    :X – i give up * both arms raised* with a white flag :P

    but id like to clear out my point, if you allow :) ive been to alot of maulvis, teachers and elders and talked about hijab that it should not be a part of this ‘modern’ world and we should not live like the way our fore fathers did. and they’ve all replied that we are not to change, the way of Muhammad is for-ever and therefore no new rasool will bring new teachings.

    i guess im going in too much depth. but i just wanted to clear out my point. but please tell me if you think im still wrong.

    peace :)

  13. Yahya (unregistered) on October 11th, 2006 @ 8:33 pm

    Hassan, regardless of what Molvis say, how many women actually wear a face veil now a days? My mother used to wear one but no one else in my family (both in Pakistan & abroad) seems to any more. All/most girls in the family seem to be comfortably working with not even a – what do you call it, that arab thing girls sometimes waer on their heads and is in fashion these days in Pakistan?

  14. ghalia (unregistered) on October 12th, 2006 @ 4:16 am

    hassaan u know what these molvis are ruining our future and islam too. sorry for being rude but that is true. movi also ask to keep beard without mustache, and that our religion would not complete without that. so i want to say that keeping it is no harm but that is just sunat not farz.

    yahya! hijab is not to wear by force. a woman is herslef resposible of what she has to do and what not to do. everyone of us is answerable to God not to mankind.
    hassaan! i am happy that atleast u r trying to understand things in ur own way, may God help u in that but i would recommend you to study quran by urself instead of going to mullahs. please!

  15. Yahya (unregistered) on October 12th, 2006 @ 5:12 am

    Times have changed and this is one more battle Molvis have lost, whether they like it or not.

  16. hassaan (unregistered) on October 12th, 2006 @ 8:12 pm

    okay !
    i cant even remember where this conversation started from :P

    to be honest, im the least religious person you’ve seen all your life. i went to mullahs in the first place cuz i was lazy enough to read the Quran :$. but Ghalia, ill take your advice and try to stay away from molviz :)

    but you would agree, that molviz are the reason your topic cant be a possibility ?

    CIAO !

  17. ghalia (unregistered) on October 13th, 2006 @ 1:20 am

    yes yahya i fully agree with u. but dono when these mullahs will aknowledge that:)

    ya hassaan it is getting complex but u should be happy that at least we r coming to a single point, ain’t we?

    and we were talking about “girls should learn to mend a car n boys to cook”

    i myself a lazy person but i prefer to be lazy instead of going to, so called “mullahs”.

    please do read QURAN by yourself. thnak u for considering my request:)

  18. Yahya (unregistered) on October 13th, 2006 @ 6:17 am

    My mother, bless her, made me finish Quran when I was six, so unfortunately(!) I did not have the pleasure to go to any Molvi.

  19. ghalia (unregistered) on October 14th, 2006 @ 12:23 am

    yahya reciting QURN is something else but understanding it is completely different. we as muslims think that God will bless us with HIS blessing only if we recite it everyday. GOD has to many angels to do that. HE wants us to understand the meaning.

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