Archive for the ‘Pakistan’ Category

Zaid Hamid hates you.. Or vice versa?

One fine night, the best defense analyst in the world aka Zaid Hamid pondered over where his life was and where it is now ( ofcourse every news channel is marred by him cussing at the Indian Zionists, Israeli Zionists, Pakistani Zionists, Super Zionists with no real identity, so he must be doing something right, or is it?)... He decided that he would go public, and this time not refrain to cursing the zionists, the army, the dhobi who ruined his prized red hat or the local grocery store, this time he thought he’d write a few verses in English to show the world that he can write, and write he did and what he came up with, in his opinion would win him literary accolades (but the darn jews get them every time don’t they? )..

I hate the way you’re not fond of me,
and the way you mock my hair,
I hate the way you call me khwar,
I hate it when I’m here.

I hate your big dumb Zionist roots,
and the way you kick my behind,
I hate you so much it makes me a chick,
and forces me to commit this crime.

I hate the way I cry at night,
I hate how I’m so shy,
I hate it how I have no staff,
even worse when I can’t eat paye.

I hate the way I’m always found,
and the fact that I can only crawl,
but mostly I hate the way I can’t save you,
not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

YAKEEN KIJIAY!!!!

Who deserves what?


Confusion is the prime of sorrow and everything that has been happening in the land of the green and the pure for the better half of the last decade can briefly be summarized as a confused view point following an even more confusing ideology. Everyone has a brief stint of identity crisis where the greener pastures seem blue if focused on properly but even more daunting than this is the global rejection of the green.

“We deserve it; it’s just God’s way of telling us that we aren’t good people”

This is something that I get to hear very often and it just makes me sad thinking how people can so aptly point this out without paying heed to the fact that the law and order lapses and the massive failure of infrastructure is a direct consequence of the short-term thinking of everyone who has been in power for the last six decades. It has all been due to the cat and mouse game that the honchos in big government establishments play when they could have diminished their differences and given more attention to both economic and environmental sustainability.

Why sit back silently and accept this as an order from the heavens and not ask questions? Why do we always give into dogma and refuse to question anything because either it is the ultimate word or it won’t make a difference if we ask questions. We know there was a flood, we know people are dying of hunger and disease, we know it’s the worst disaster of this century; we know it will take years to get everything back to the way it was. But isn’t it about time we start pruning every little detail and make amends so that it doesn’t happen again, isn’t it time we finally stop blaming it on some sect that doesn’t go to the same place to worship as you?

Acts of barbaric undertones have been happening for as long as I can remember. There have been public beheadings, little girls have been raped, people have been tortured and the recent incident in Sialkot is no less. It did not happen because we “deserve it”. It happened because people are afraid to raise a voice against anything that goes against their confused ideologies. It happened because at the end of the day every act of heinous malicious intent is justifiable using means ranging from scriptures to principles to how it’s a religious thing and no one should question it. It’s sad, really sad.

Tell this to a mother who lost her children or a kid who can’t ever have his parents sing lullabies again, tell them that they have been isolated in this world because “we as a nation” don’t deserve anything good. It’s about time we stop fighting over personal lives on national television, it’s about time we stop joining social networking sites to enhance a political image and it’s about time we start thinking about sustainability and a long-term view because you can have the best leader who can get people together but what direction to steer them is of utmost importance.

To think nine out of ten people that I asked about the recent catastrophe and what the solution to it post-rehab could be replied:-

“It’s happening because we aren’t good Muslims and we should hit the government with “a-shoe”.
Bless you I say, bless you.

(Picture taken by me)

iMULLAH Touch

Coming out of his “official” house given to him by the lovely Government right next to the very Mosque he chairs, Molvi sahab gathers all the phlegm he can and spits it on the side walk because apparently the quote of cleanliness completing half the faith is only valid inside the mosque making every area outside void of any Shariah clauses. After delving into the holy ritual of spitting, molvi sahab gawks at the female population passing by and as an immediate response to an external stimulus i.e. a female life form, a reflex action magically happens making molvi sahab reach for his crotch and scratch it like he’s about to win the lottery. Subsequently as expected he blames Satan for everything that is happening right before his eyes…

“Kia zamana agaya hei, humara eeman kamzor hogaya hei, aurat zaat ko dekho, kia kia kartee rehtee hein”

Surprisingly enough, he doesn’t think that scratching his crotch in public like a gazillion mosquitoes rammed in from somewhere is anywhere near as sinful as a lady driving. But oh well, such is life from the mullah’s eyes….Refreshing. The kids in the madrassah start to gather around molvi sahab (half of the kid population being his own, ten wives just had to leave their impact no? ) and he starts to tell them the values of “life”. Coming from someone who doesn’t know the repercussions of letting out his bodily toxins/fluids in public which can cause serious health hazards, the kids are NOT in good hands at all, but then again he’s their father and it is his right *yawn*..

After the call for prayers is made, molvi sahab returns to his house and freshens up, takes out his itr bottle and religiously pours it all over him so that he can smell like he means faith-y business. It is Friday and he has to give a sermon, molvi sahab knows exactly what he’s going to say, he’s going to rant about “Amreeka” and then call them “Jaahil” and read a few verses and then sway to the sound of his echoes and look at all the people sitting in the front rows listening to him. It’s all chalked out..

“Everyone is requested to switch their mobile foons off, my fellow Muslimeen, Amreeka is bad, amreeka thinks they are god, but there is only one god, so amreeka is blasphemy, amreeka is monogamy and polygamy, and amreeka is pathology. Amreeka is the reason the world is such a bad place because what we do is way less than what they do, we kill ourselves, they kill us, we have the right to kill ourselves, they have the right not to, amreeka is kaafir, amreeka is jaahil, and everything made by amreeka is to be boycotted effective immediately”..

“Phone rings”…

“YEH KIS JAAHIL KA PHONE HEI?”..

And a kid in the front row screams “BABA AAP KA IFOON HEI”…

*shakes head*…

Originally posted at HABLOID

Youtube and Flickr- Need lube and a kick-er?

Life restricted? Everyone committed? details omitted and every fucked up thought in the world remitted. Welcome to Pakistan. Welcome to the land of the free and green. Welcome to the den of the Holy. Welcome to the Mecca of corruption and welcome to a place where you’re an asshole and the Government is holy and doing stuff like this will stop the Zionists from ruining our life. SOS ZAID HAMID YOU WERE RIGHT… fucking hell.. *shoots himself*

Not significant enough you say?!

RAWALPINDI: A 13-year-old schoolgirl was allegedly raped for 21 days by policemen as they illegally detained her at the Wah Cantt Police Station.

A Class-VII student Natasha, daughter of a stone crusher Muhammad Aslam, approached Taxila Additional Sessions Judge Rao Abdul Jabbar Khan and narrated to him her mental and physical torture in detention. She also told him that she was pregnant.

After recording her statement, the judge ordered Natasha’s medical examination and directed the CPO Rawalpindi to register a case against the accused policemen, and complete investigation within 14 days. Police authorities have failed to act against the accused policemen despite the passage of one month. The RPO says the accused obtained a “stay order” from the high court to pre-empt police action, so he is waiting for the day when the court vacates that order.

According to the information gathered by The News, Natasha is a resident of village Labb Thathu, Tehsil Taxila. Afsar, a close relative of her father Aslam, was killed on January 24, 2010, and an FIR was registered against Aslam’s wife Azhar Bibi.

Taxila police picked up Natasha and her brother Yawar Saeed, 18, when policemen failed to arrest their mother, whose whereabouts are still unknown. According to her on-oath statement before the judge, Natasha said the police kept her in a room for 21 days on the premises of the Wah Cantt Police Station, where different police officials, one of them identified as Sub-Inspector Mohammad Mumtaz, made a plaything of her; they would rape her daily at their will, force her to drink alcohol, dance naked, and change their uniforms before her.

These police officials, sensing that she had become pregnant, booked her for the murder on January 24, 2010, and produced her before the court which sent her to the Adiala Jail on judicial remand from where she was released on bail.

On getting initial information, The News approached the victim at her home in village Labb Thathu. The poor victim was still unsure of her surroundings and her father, too poor to even think of taking any steps other than harming himself and his children, seemed to have gone numb with persistent mental trauma.

“They would repeat this (rape) on me every night. And it was only after three weeks when I started feeling sick, and they took me to a court which sent me to the (Adiala) jail. A kind lady constable, who had noticed my condition, told me to tell the truth to the judge in the court but I was too afraid. Somehow, after two days of my release on bail, I gathered courage and chose to tell the court all that had happened to me at the police station,” said Natasha with tears rolling down her cheeks.

“They ruined my life. I don’t want to go to school because the students and staff there know about what has happened to me. It’s too humiliating. What would become of me and my sister? Would the chief justice (of the Supreme Court of Pakistan) take notice of what has happened to me and punish those ‘wolves’ in uniforms?” Natasha asked.

When contacted, Natasha’s counsel advocate Farhana Qamar said that it had been proved by the medical examination of the minor girl that she had been gang-raped. But, she added, the RPO (Regional Police Officer) Rawalpindi was still reluctant to act against the accused policemen.

When contacted, CPO Rao Iqbal told The News that an inquiry had been ordered to ascertain the facts in the case. He said that it was a heinous crime and if the allegations levelled by the girl were proved correct, strict action would be taken against those guilty of crime.

Regional Police Officer (RPO) Aslam Tareen told The News that Natasha moved the court of the ASJ Taxila on April 17, 2010 after her release from jail on bail on April 15.

He said her medical check-up had already been conducted before sending her to jail under the law. Answering a question about the police inaction despite the ASJ’s orders, the RPO said accused sub-inspector Mohammad Mimtaz filed a petition before the Rawalpindi Bench of the Lahore High Court against the ASJ’s orders and the court granted him “stay” to pre-empt registration of an FIR against the accused till the decision of the petition.

The RPO said the first hearing of the stay order was held on May 13, while the second hearing was due during this week. He said the case would be registered if the court vacated the stay order.

By Shakeel Anjum & Saleem-ur-Rehman

Original link :-

And yet we debate about who the better Muslim is and who sent more text messages calling for d-dos attacks on the websites that apparently support a particular event that the PTA thinks along with the ulema e karam as being very “OFFENSIVE” to the “ghairat” we hold.

Those who think this little girls case isn’t as significant? Fuck you..

Worth a thousand words?

“We exaggerate misfortune and happiness alike. We are never as bad off or as happy as we say we are.”- Honore De Balzac

Judicial Crisis and the Missing Good Governance

On Saturday, the clash between the judiciary and the government was surfaced once again despite the fact that on various occasions earlier both the Prime Minister and the Chief Justice denied publicly of a confrontation between the judiciary and the government. As this drama unfolds, the Chief Justice of Pakistan, in a sou motu action, has suspended two Presidential orders pertaining to the elevation of Chief Justice of Lahore High Court Khawaja Sharif to the Supreme Court and of appointing Justice Saqib Nisar as Acting Chief Justice Lahore High Court.

The prime reason for this suo motu action is that the presidency has not ‘consulted’ Iftikhar Chaudhry, Chief Justice Supreme Court prior to the issuance of aforementioned presidential orders and therefore is a violation of Article 177 of the Constitution of Pakistan. Nevertheless, the government’s stand is that the formal consultation was held with the Chief Justice and judges’ appointments were as per constitution. So far, government has failed to provide a documentary proof of any such ‘consultation’ on the issue of appointment of judges of the superior court.

The above-stated news has already become the ‘lead’ story of all the Pakistani national newspapers. Different newspapers have used different vocabulary to the nature and severity of this incident. For instance, one English daily newspaper calls the Supreme Court’s verdict as a ‘stinging rebuke’; another English newspaper discusses it as ‘dangerous escalation’ and an international newspaper calls it as a “simmering power struggle”. Undoubtedly, it is a worrisome development for the nascent elected government in Pakistan, who presently is also confronting the looming security threats within the country and a Taliban insurgency on country’s western border. Many political parties have already reacted strongly by categorically calling the presidential act as “unconstitutional”. However, some opposition leaders such as Mr Nawaz Sharif (Chief PML-N), is using it as an opportunity to pressure the government, particularly Asif Ali Zardari. The News on Sunday reports PML-N Chief as saying:

“It is the biggest disservice to the democracy by a person who claimed to be a democrat and happens to be the elected president”.

PML-N Chief has been very vocal for the past two or three years on ‘independence of judiciary’ despite the fact that in 1997 in his term as Prime Minister, he also made a disservice to democracy by ordering an assault on Supreme Court building. Certainly PML-N Chief’s above stated comment elucidates that he is using a different yard stick to check incumbent government’s performance relating to independence of judiciary.

This whole judicial crisis highlights the need for a crucial missing element which is called ‘good governance’. Good governance which as defined by the OECD is “the management of government in a manner that is essentially free of abuse and corruption, and with due regard for the rule of law”. But do our institutions comply with the principles of good governance? Our history suggests that good governance is either used in elections to win people’s votes or the term appears in political speeches of opposition leaders, meant to destabilize the ruling political party.

One of the slogans of our elected government was certainly ‘good governance’ in February 2008 elections. But the current situation of the country (price hike, electricity shortage, security situation etc) has already nullifies the claims made during February 2008 elections by of our elected representatives. The worse of it is that the elected officials and appointed officials, legislatures and executive, at the moment are at war against each other. The recent politico-judicial turmoil is a clash between two personalities, Asif Ali Zardari Vs Iftikhar Mohammad Chaudhry’, which has been shaped up by now as a clash between the ‘executive and the judiciary’, and as rightly said by Asma Jehangir in her article dated December 19, the clash which began after the Supreme Court’s NRO judgment, has resulted in disturbing the equilibrium of power and an imbalance has been created in favor of judiciary.

Regardless of Prime Minister’s assertion that the country’s institutions will work within their respective domains, political experts of the country view it as “escalating political tension’ in the country which could have dangerous consequences for the incumbent elected government. Mr. Hussain Haqqani, Pakistani Ambassador in the US has been reported as saying that Pakistan would experience massive economic set-back if the democratic process is derailed in the country. This implies that to prevent Pakistan from going through another series of crises, both the legislatures and the judiciary should focus on constitutional provision, responsibilities and institutional integrity.

“Open Frequency” on Dawn News 17th’ Jaunary’10 at 11 pm.

I was recently part of a program conducted by the British High Commission, the British Council and Dawn News called “Open Frequency”. It was an insightful discussion with David Miliband, the foreign secretary of the United Kingdom and David Martin, the head of the British Council in Pakistan, and was hosted by the ever charming and gorgeous Saima Mohsin from Dawn News (News Eye anyone?! )..

The panel of students chosen were to ask David Miliband or David Martin questions that concern the youth, even though only ten were present at the moment but it was after the publication of a report by the British Council called “Pakistan.. The next generation” :-

Available Here.

milliband6

The report was published after a concise survey was done all over Pakistan.

The program will air on Dawn News on the 17th of January’10 at 11 pm and will be aired again on the 18th of January’10.

Though I would like to say that this was a good effort on part of the British Council and High Commission, our Government needs to tackle these issues themselves instead of relying on outside parties to do everything for us.


Official Facebook Page for the British High Commission in Islamabad, Pakistan.


Official Facebook page for Dawn News.

2009 Budget Presentation by a Woman

Many kinds of histories would have been made this Saturday on June 13, 2009. But the most significant one of them all, that I can think of, was that the budget of Pakistan was delivered for the first time by a woman in the history of Pakistan. The lady who delivered the budget speech was Hina Rabbani Khar, who is the Minister of State for Finance and Economic Affairs of Pakistan. She did it for the first time and did a fine job with the presentation. It was an honor for the women of Pakistan. It was indeed another major milestone, representative of the women empowerment (in a good sense).

May the women of Pakistan play their role to the fullest in the progress and prosperity of the motherland. Ameen.

For more details on the budget presentation and the budget text itself, please see the following links:

http://www.dawn.com/wps/wcm/connect/dawn-content-library/dawn/news/business/12-hina-khar-first-woman-to-present-pakistan-budget–bi-11

http://www.nation.com.pk/pakistan-news-newspaper-daily-english-online/Business/14-Jun-2009/Text-of-budget-speech

PS: What actually “was” in the budget is a story for several new posts. ;-)

Yaum e Takbeer: The Day that Made Us Proud

I can still go down the memory lane and collect small strands from that day when it actually happened. It was a pretty regular evening for me. I was doing my BSc at that time and was roaming around in my hostel corridor, probably trying to study for a test. Being in the hostel and not very interested in current affairs I did not have much idea of the situation outside my little world. All I knew was that India had done atomic blasts some time ago and was bullying us like anything.

That time there was a lot of praise in my mind for the then government and the armed forces who were standing tall in front of the tyrant as a strong protective wall. I knew there were pressures from the bigger intimidating bully (the USA) as well which required dealing with and that filled my heart with even more gratitude for the government and the forces.

I was thinking like a little kid that why can’t we “fight” back and “punch” the bullies. I kept asking this question from myself and always came up with the answer that maybe it is not the appropriate time to retaliate. I did not dare to think even for a second that God forbid we were incapable of replying back. That thought would have been a serious nightmare.

And then in the corridors a little noise was raised. It seemed to be coming from the TV lounge. Everybody in sight or in earshot moved towards the sound. I did too with my lazy steps, thinking that maybe it was some “girly” girl who saw a lizard and was frightened [no offense to the girly girls :-) ]. But when I reached there the scene was quite different.

I heard the news that Pakistan has finally done atomic blasts. And doing so had brought the motherland to the pedestal where 6 other nuclear power nations already stood. I didn’t think of anything else any more after that. I just glided back to my room, feeling extremely light in heart and mind. I could feel the warmth of that feeling all over me. I actually felt proud at a national achievement.

I usually never show much zeal and fervor when the anniversary of this day, known as Yaum e Takbeer, is celebrated. I never go out to any events or chant out patriotic slogans. All I do is remember the day and recall that warm feeling. It lights a little light and makes my heart glow.

That was a day that made us all proud, really proud indeed. May Allah bestow more of such achievements on us, the Pakistani nation.

Pakistan Zindabad! :-)

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