Archive for August, 2010

Who deserves what?

Confusion is the prime of sorrow and everything that has been happening in the land of the green and the pure for the better half of the last decade can briefly be summarized as a confused view point following an even more confusing ideology. Everyone has a brief stint of identity crisis where the greener pastures seem blue if focused on properly but even more daunting than this is the global rejection of the green.

“We deserve it; it’s just God’s way of telling us that we aren’t good people”

This is something that I get to hear very often and it just makes me sad thinking how people can so aptly point this out without paying heed to the fact that the law and order lapses and the massive failure of infrastructure is a direct consequence of the short-term thinking of everyone who has been in power for the last six decades. It has all been due to the cat and mouse game that the honchos in big government establishments play when they could have diminished their differences and given more attention to both economic and environmental sustainability.

Why sit back silently and accept this as an order from the heavens and not ask questions? Why do we always give into dogma and refuse to question anything because either it is the ultimate word or it won’t make a difference if we ask questions. We know there was a flood, we know people are dying of hunger and disease, we know it’s the worst disaster of this century; we know it will take years to get everything back to the way it was. But isn’t it about time we start pruning every little detail and make amends so that it doesn’t happen again, isn’t it time we finally stop blaming it on some sect that doesn’t go to the same place to worship as you?

Acts of barbaric undertones have been happening for as long as I can remember. There have been public beheadings, little girls have been raped, people have been tortured and the recent incident in Sialkot is no less. It did not happen because we “deserve it”. It happened because people are afraid to raise a voice against anything that goes against their confused ideologies. It happened because at the end of the day every act of heinous malicious intent is justifiable using means ranging from scriptures to principles to how it’s a religious thing and no one should question it. It’s sad, really sad.

Tell this to a mother who lost her children or a kid who can’t ever have his parents sing lullabies again, tell them that they have been isolated in this world because “we as a nation” don’t deserve anything good. It’s about time we stop fighting over personal lives on national television, it’s about time we stop joining social networking sites to enhance a political image and it’s about time we start thinking about sustainability and a long-term view because you can have the best leader who can get people together but what direction to steer them is of utmost importance.

To think nine out of ten people that I asked about the recent catastrophe and what the solution to it post-rehab could be replied:-

“It’s happening because we aren’t good Muslims and we should hit the government with “a-shoe”.
Bless you I say, bless you.

(Picture taken by me)

The Partition of Shame

Here I am again in that waiting area I posted a guess post some time back. For those who are still guessing, this is the Daewoo Rawalpindi bus terminal’s new waiting area, which is usually empty except for a couple of eunuchs lying on those comfy metal chairs here and there. No I’m just kidding, eunuchs don’t hang-out in bus terminal waiting areas, they have a more visible presence in crowded areas like the Jinnah Super, where they walk around in a small group, scaring off all the shurafaa with their suggestive advances towards the innocent citizens’ nether regions. The sleeping people in the terminal are the ones who probably have a long wait before they board the bus, or who have no where else to go, and for the latter there is always a couple of hi-fi security cameras scanning the entire breadth of the room, alerting the local security personnel about suspicious sleeping people, who are probably dreaming about a better Pakistan or their latest electricity bill.

The new addition in this lovely waiting room is that lovely red partition on the other side. Behind this partition are a few people who are not fasting for some reason… which could be health related, spiritual reasons, or for no reason at all. Before this underground waiting area was made, the partition was created in the main waiting area above. I have never actually seen anyone walk into our out of this partition… or maybe they crawl under it to avoid the disgrace of being considered a khoja.

Partition of Shame

For some reason I find this a bit disturbing. We continue to create divisions amongst ourselves, repeatedly ignoring the essential element of tolerance for others spiritual inclinations. If you’re foolish enough to go to the public toilet here, or in any other public area, you’ll see food garbage lying around the filthy eastern toilets… a half eaten banana, a cup of tea with a wet teabag inside, slice of pizza… and all this lying around the usual artifacts like syringes and other unmentionables. Just imagine for a while; an old man with some physical problem quietly walks into the public toilet, locks the door, pulls out a sandwich from his pocket, and takes a quick few bites while standing over the welcoming hole below. How do you feel? (By the way, I suggest you keep a hand sanitizer in your bag if you’re a wuss like me).

Before I took this picture, I was at the counter waiting to buy my ticket, when a person much older than me sporting a beard and a skull cap rushes ahead, buys his ticket from the counter and walks away. Then another red cheeked zombie from the north comes up, points at the lady at the counter and exclaims in pushto that she should be covering her head in the holy month of Ramadan. I thought that he should be covering his mouth in the holy month of Ramadan! You see, it is that easy to be immoral in this country. If someone complains, just give a little smirk and walk away! Besides, the place is too crowded for a brawl since you’d be pulled out of it for assaulting a bearded man with a skull cap, plus who really has the time (or patience) nowadays to take these matters in their own hands. All we can do is… well… whine and complain.

So where do we get this time and patience from? The more we wait, the more the partitions, separations, divisions solidify themselves, and their supporters get bolder and bolder, eventually crossing the lines of morality and human respect in order to establish their own system of social governance based on a mutilated religious or religio-political concept. What we need is something more powerful than the current system, something that would be in the control of the people, yet it would not let the people control each other in a manner which violates human rights and freedom of expression.

What we need is a nice little place which serves the best halwa poori, alu bhujya and siri paey in town. Oh YES baby. We need to fill our tummies in this holy month and make sure we absorb all the lovely cholestrol. Because that is the only way out of this mess… affordable, legal, nutritious, delicious intoxication.

Ramadan Mubarik everyone!

Islamabad Metblogs 50 Word Wordle

Created using I’m not entirely sure how this is generated, but it does look like a typical Pakistani blog wordle with the words ‘amreeka’ and ‘molvi’ so prominent (and close!).



This season of Coke studio to many was very disappointing but there were certain artists that stood out for example the collaboration of Overload’s Meesha Shafi with Arif Lohar and the amazing delivery of Faiz Ahmed Faiz’s “Mori Araj suno” by Tina Sani. But out of all the artists featured, Abida Parveen to me stood out. The second I found out that she was going to be a feature in this season, I was very very excited because I grew up listening to her and to see the house band giving the music to her voice was a very exciting prospect, and she didn’t disappoint, she was a star in so many more ways than the term.

This song is from the last episode that aired today. This song moved me in ways that I have never been moved listening to anything. Her strong vocal tone can easily jitter you and send shivers down spines. This is the definition of love :)

This is brilliant.


Coming out of his “official” house given to him by the lovely Government right next to the very Mosque he chairs, Molvi sahab gathers all the phlegm he can and spits it on the side walk because apparently the quote of cleanliness completing half the faith is only valid inside the mosque making every area outside void of any Shariah clauses. After delving into the holy ritual of spitting, molvi sahab gawks at the female population passing by and as an immediate response to an external stimulus i.e. a female life form, a reflex action magically happens making molvi sahab reach for his crotch and scratch it like he’s about to win the lottery. Subsequently as expected he blames Satan for everything that is happening right before his eyes…

“Kia zamana agaya hei, humara eeman kamzor hogaya hei, aurat zaat ko dekho, kia kia kartee rehtee hein”

Surprisingly enough, he doesn’t think that scratching his crotch in public like a gazillion mosquitoes rammed in from somewhere is anywhere near as sinful as a lady driving. But oh well, such is life from the mullah’s eyes….Refreshing. The kids in the madrassah start to gather around molvi sahab (half of the kid population being his own, ten wives just had to leave their impact no? ) and he starts to tell them the values of “life”. Coming from someone who doesn’t know the repercussions of letting out his bodily toxins/fluids in public which can cause serious health hazards, the kids are NOT in good hands at all, but then again he’s their father and it is his right *yawn*..

After the call for prayers is made, molvi sahab returns to his house and freshens up, takes out his itr bottle and religiously pours it all over him so that he can smell like he means faith-y business. It is Friday and he has to give a sermon, molvi sahab knows exactly what he’s going to say, he’s going to rant about “Amreeka” and then call them “Jaahil” and read a few verses and then sway to the sound of his echoes and look at all the people sitting in the front rows listening to him. It’s all chalked out..

“Everyone is requested to switch their mobile foons off, my fellow Muslimeen, Amreeka is bad, amreeka thinks they are god, but there is only one god, so amreeka is blasphemy, amreeka is monogamy and polygamy, and amreeka is pathology. Amreeka is the reason the world is such a bad place because what we do is way less than what they do, we kill ourselves, they kill us, we have the right to kill ourselves, they have the right not to, amreeka is kaafir, amreeka is jaahil, and everything made by amreeka is to be boycotted effective immediately”..

“Phone rings”…


And a kid in the front row screams “BABA AAP KA IFOON HEI”…

*shakes head*…

Originally posted at HABLOID

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